I read that somewhere, though I have no idea where. Perhaps it was on this blog Joyful Days that I like to read. Oh no, I think it was in this TED video, oops! Anyway, I think the gist of what I am thinking is that if I feel unhappy, it is ultimately my fault. It’s my choice. My day was a little crummy at some points, then I remembered the magic words:
Smile, and be happy!
It worked, at least for a little while. It’s strange, sometimes it seems as though I “prefer” the intrusive thoughts and illusions or delusion that come into my mind, but I know that my mind is just neurologically wired/conditioned to think a certain way. Some do bring me happiness or joy, but I usually remind myself that suchandsuch a thought is just a projection of the future based on expectations or assumptions. In trying mindfulness and being present in my actions and doing this “narration” type of practice, I find that my actions are waaaaay faster than my mind can think or narrate them, and I easily think about unimportant or uncontrollable things. Sometimes it’s like I have two or three streams of thoughts going through my head. One that is the “loudest”, and then another one or two “softer” ones that are running in the background. It will be permanently quieter in the one day (and not just when I’m dead, either), but I’m new at this stuff 🙂
Oh that reminds me, I had a nice thought today… but I can’t remember what it was! It has something to do with expectations… ahha! It was about making mistakes.
I was thinking about my recent breakup, and that I find it hard for me to accept the parts that I (perceive I) played in contributing to the breakup.The thoughts (while vacuuming, when I should have been mindful!) went something like this:
We all make choices with the knowledge, maturity, security, time, foresight, whatever, that we have in the moment that we make the decision(s).(a good friend and therapist of mine) says, truthfully “You can’t know what you don’t know.” It is only in hindsight that people label things mistakes, and that comes from when things don’t go our way or as we planned, wanted, EXPECTED things to happen. I’ve heard that expectations cause resentments, and I understand the connection now. In my case, the resentment is toward myself; and a strong, sincere remorse lies there as well.
But back to the post title. I’m not sure if it’s stated in the video, but I think it’s been around as “conventional wisdom” or “pop-psychology”. If I want to feel or be happy, try smiling, and feeling and being happy. Find reasons to think and feel happiness. The body and mind reciprocate one another: what one thinks or does, the other will reinforce. This reminds me of the placebo effect, a perfect example. It’s also a more medically legitimate than the “New Age” body-mind connection (so-called by Wikipedia). Perception is also referenced in this TED talk. Hum, perception has come up a lot lately…
But I digress yet again. The point I’ve been slowly making is that if I, or anyone I guess, wants happiness, thinness, or some other difference, then thinking and acting that way will make it easier to find or be those things. At least, I hope. There is an argumentative voice proclaiming:
No. If you start to think and act and tell yourself that you’re happy when you’re not, you will just suppress your feelings. It’s a lie to think and act and do in some manner reality is not so.
Well, I’ve forgotten what I was going to say after this, so that’s it for now!